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So no, it’s not a defense mechanism because I’m shy with women. Would you say that a gay person is “shy with women”? No. So don’t say it about us. Respondent 21 — AoA ≈ 3-12 As I am happily married to a woman that was maybe 4 years old when I was serving in the military during the Vietnam War, I certainly feel confident with a female of any age: 1 to 100 years of age.